


the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you

by aestheticzjm



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Fluff, I think this is pretty cute, M/M, Oneshot, Schmoop, Short & Sweet, Shy Isak, au but has some canon references, basically they ride the bus together and fall in love ????, idk how 2 tag this, mentions of internalized homophobia, super self indulgent so not much plot tbh, well this is my first skam fic so hello
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 19:37:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15154175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aestheticzjm/pseuds/aestheticzjm
Summary: isak averted his gaze to the ground as his green eyes once again met those of the taller boy across from him on the bus. the young boy wasn’t usually one for staring, but the golden-haired boy who regularly stood across from him was one of the most beautiful people that he had ever seen.— or the one in which isak and even ride the same bus home and isak develops a crush.





	the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you

**Author's Note:**

> hi !!! so this is the first thing i have written in MONTHS so i'm very aware that it sucks, especially compared to the number of lovely fics for this pairing. oh well. :-)

Isak averted his gaze to the ground as his green eyes once again met those of the taller boy across from him on the bus. The young boy wasn’t usually one for staring, but the golden-haired boy who regularly stood across from him was one of the most beautiful people that he had ever seen; male or female, for that matter.

Clad in a carefully pressed jean jacket, white shirt and khaki trousers, he certainly was a sight for sore eyes. Isak’s bus rides had admittedly gotten a lot more exciting since the presumably older boy’s arrival – and he really wasn’t shy either, lips curving up into a sight smirk every time he caught Isak staring. The blonde’s pale cheeks would flush as he quickly shifted his gaze to the ground, but he knew that the other boy always noticed.

                                                                                           — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

It was a few days later that Isak was thumbing through his Instagram, other hand gripping onto the bus pole, when he heard a deep, “Hello,” vaguely above his ear. Eyes widening as he looked up and caught the gaze of the handsome boy, it took a few seconds for him to remember how to speak.

“Oh, um, hi,” He fumbled, probably sounding like an idiot. The taller boy just watched on however, eyes crinkling as if he found Isak’s stuttering endearing. “Going home?” The other boy questioned, eyebrows raised slightly. Not wanting to make a complete fool of himself by trying to say more than a few words, Isak simply nodded.

“You too?” He asked softly, tilting his head slightly and distantly hoping that the inevitable rouge that tinted his cheeks wasn’t too obvious. The taller boy simply smiled and nodded, effortlessly cool in a way that Isak had come to admire.

“I’m Even,” He introduced, reaching out a hand to shake. Letting go of the pole in favor for the older boy’s hand, he grasped it loosely and shook it. “Isak.”

                                                                                           — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

Isak had grown accustomed to entering the bus and seeing Even standing next to their usual pole, a lovely smile gracing his lips every time the blonde entered. Their conversations weren't much more than the usual small talk, but the seventeen year old found himself falling more and more as the days went on.

He soon came to find out that the other boy was indeed older, redoing his third year in Elvebakken while Isak was in his second year at Nissen. He was just as charming as Isak would have guessed the first time he laid eyes on him, able to tint the blonde's cheeks with the fewest of words. Although Isak had eventually learnt how to not stumble over each of his sentences like an absolute ditz, he still found it difficult to maintain eye contact with the older boy, preferring to let his gaze rest on the ground instead. 

It was on a rather bad day of school that he found himself entering the bus a little bit later than usual, having to jog to catch it on time. Letting a soft sigh leave his lips as his hand gripped the pole, Isak's gaze lifted to meet Even's.

"You're late," Even commented, eyebrows raised with slight amusement. Unable to help the soft smile that met his lips, Isak shrugged helplessly.

"Found this earlier and it reminded me of you," Even said, tone unaffected as he pulled out a small dandelion from his pocket. Forgetting how to breathe for a good few moments while staring at the yellow flower, Isak fumbled with his words — "Oh, wow, thanks." and then he graciously accepted the flower, feeling the butterflies in his stomach do a double flip when their hands brushed. And if later, Isak tucked the dandelion behind his ear and imagined that it was Even doing so, it was nobody's business but his own.

                                                                                           — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

Today was going to be the day. It had taken him a couple of days to work up the courage to even fathom the possibility of asking Even out, but he knew that he couldn't let the opportunity slip through his fingers.

He also knew that liking Even in the way that he did was wrong, but the mere sight of the golden-haired boy was enough to make him forget every single girl that he half-heartedly made out with at the few revue parties that he attended. Understanding why Isak was attracted to Even instead of the pretty first year that had made it very clear that she liked him was a battle that would have to be fought another time.

Now, all that he knew was that he no longer wanted to be just Even's friend. He wanted to be something more, so desperately. The fear of rejection constantly loomed in the back of his mind, but instead, he focused on the moments that sometimes made his thoughts blurry; like the multiple times that he had caught Even's gaze trained on his mouth instead of his eyes.

So Isak had made the perfect plan — there was a showing of The Great Gatsby at the local theatre on Friday night. Baz Luhrmann was Even's favorite director, and Isak knew this because of the ten minute rant that Even had gone on once about why Baz Luhrmann's cinematography was incomparable to practically every other modern director. Isak had hoped that his fondness didn't seep through his gaze as he watched Even speak that day, distantly wishing that the older boy would one day be that passionate about him.

He wouldn't call it a date, didn’t want to freak Even out in case he had _totally_ misread all the signals and overstepped his boundaries. But when he got out of school on Tuesday afternoon, his nerves buzzing with excitement, he felt… hopeful? As if his plan might have actually worked. As if he would finally be able to call Even _his._

So one could only imagine his surprise when he entered the bus and was met with the sight of Even with some pretty blonde hanging off his arm. Isak could practically feel his heart shatter into a million pieces as the two kissed, and a rush of embarrassment hit him — at the thought that he could ever compete with someone as beautiful as the girl beside Even.

They had never actually gotten around to discussing significant others, but Isak realized how ridiculous it was for him to assume that someone as flawless as Even wouldn't have a girlfriend. The older boy hadn't seen Isak yet, not looking for him as he usually did because he was too distracted with _her_.

So Isak simply turned on his heel and left the bus, glad that it waited at his stop for a couple of minutes instead of leaving right away because he was positive that he would be unable to handle the whole ride with Even and his girlfriend.

Neither of them had missed a bus ride for the last few weeks, but Isak figured that Even would barely notice his absence, not when he was so seemingly busy with kissing the blonde. He felt even more ridiculous as his gaze became blurry with unshed tears, harshly wiping them away and sniffling as he began the long journey back home.

                                                                                           — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

It wasn't like Isak was _purposely_ avoiding the bus. He had just decided that he never put his bike to good use, and he could afford to be a little more active, considering that he skipped almost all of his gym classes. He had used his bike to ride home from school for the past week, his thoughts definitely _not_ consumed with images of Even's smile, his eyes, his charming demeanor. A single thought of the beautiful boy had not crossed his mind even once since the incident a week ago. Seriously.

But the continuous strain of riding his bike everyday was taking it's toll on the seventeen year old, and he figured that realistically, he couldn’t avoid the bus for the rest of his life. So after school on a dreary, rainy Thursday, Isak cuffed his bike to the school's parking lot and made his way to the bus stop. He may or may have not walked at a snail's pace, almost hoping that he would miss the bus — no matter what that would say about his non-existent dignity.

To his utter disappointment, the bus was waiting at the stop when he arrived. Feeling as if he was about to do something stupid like throw up or have a panic attack, Isak shook his head slightly and boarded the bus.

A wave of _something_ hit him when he saw Even standing at _their_ pole, taking a deep breath before making his way over. He figured that standing somewhere else and having Even approach him could possibly cause him to die of embarrassment — that is, if he doesn’t just sink into the ground right now.

"Hey," Even said, tone surprised as Isak finally reached their pole and gripped onto it. "Uh, hi," For fuck's sake. He felt his face going hot already, feeling as if Even could see right through him and knew exactly about the countless nights that Isak had stayed up and wondered what was wrong with him — why he wasn’t enough.

"And where've you been?" Even asked, eyebrows raised and his lips quirked up with amusement. It bothered him, that the older boy was able to remain so casual and seemed so unaffected, while Isak felt like he was two steps away from a breakdown.

"I'm having exams right now so I've been staying at the library and catching the later bus." God, Isak is a fucking terrible liar. And considering that Even is literally in high school and knows exactly how Norwegian exams work, he most definitely knew that the younger boy was lying through his teeth. If he did notice however, he didn't say anything about it. The two stood in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments, something that was so not them.

Feeling his mouth move before his brain could catch up, he spoke rather bluntly. "So, where's your girlfriend?" Fuckfuckfuck. Isak could not be _more_ obvious. Even's eyebrows shot up, once again looking far more amused than he should've been.

"My girlfriend?" He asked innocently, and it was pretty clear that he knew just what Isak was talking about. But he continued to watch the blonde, looking oblivious. The younger boy knew then that he had dug himself into a hole he could not get out of.

"Uh, I saw you with this girl a couple of days ago. I didn't know you had a girlfriend," He attempted to sound casual, shoving his hands into his pockets and lifting his shoulders in a light shrug — but it would be obvious to anyone that he was completely out of his element.

"Sonja? She's not my girlfriend." The older boy answered shortly, causing Isak's own eyebrows to shoot up in confusion.

"But I saw you kissing her." All of Isak's indifference had been practically shot out of the window at this point, so he figured there was really nothing more he could do to show that he didn't care when he _did_ care. God, he cared so much.  

"Yeah, but then I realized that I couldn't pretend anymore. It's like you said, everything that's going to happen is happening right now or it's not going to. If there's a nuclear war tomorrow, then how fucking sad would it be to say that I stayed with someone who made me feel inadequate all the time when I _know_ that there's someone better for me out there?" Isak's mind flashed back to one of the deeper conversations that they had, when they talked about parallel universes and being the director of your own life and _Nicholas Cage, of all fucking actors._ It was the kind of conversation that two people would probably have if they were high, but Isak always felt a little dreamy when he was with Even.

"So there's someone else?" That was pretty much all that he understood from what Even said, and hiding his disappointment became more and more difficult with each word he spoke. Even had left his girlfriend for someone else. Isak had not so much as looked at anyone else like that since he had met the golden-haired boy, but it was clear that the other boy didn't feel the same. Whatever. He tried to convince himself that it was just puppy love, perhaps a phase that would pass, but something in the back of his mind told him that Even was _different_. He didn’t know if he was more upset about Even being able to find someone so important to him that he was ready to break up with his girlfriend or whether he was more upset with himself for ever having fallen in the first place.

When Even didn't answer, Isak raised his gaze a little to meet Even's, pulse speeding up when he sees the taller boy staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. "Who's the lucky girl?" He asked softly, averting his eyes back to the ground and hoping that Even didn't notice the way his jaw clenched. It was in moments like these that he wished his stop was closer, because while it felt like an hour since he had entered the bus, it had only really been a couple of minutes at most.

"It's not a girl." and Isak's eyes rose to meet the older's heavy gaze, suddenly feeling as if all the puzzle pieces had clicked into place. And God, he wanted to kiss Even, so bad, but he couldn't. Not with so many people surrounding them. Not when he still wasn't completely sure whether he was misreading the signals.

"I wanted you from the moment I saw you. I still want you. God, you're so fucking beautiful, Isak," The blonde felt heat pool low in his belly at the intent behind Even's words, having to grip onto the bus pole tighter to ground himself, to ensure that he wasn't dreaming.

"I… Do you want to come over?" Isak was honestly amazed that his mouth could even form words at that point, barely thinking about the fact that he was going to have to somehow explain Even's presence to Noora, Eskild and Linn.

Even nodded, a beautiful smile on his lips, and he shifted his hand on the bus pole so it was covering Isak's. The younger boy could practically feel sparks where their fingers meet, and he did his very best to resist the urge of standing on his tiptoes and pressing his lips against the older boy's.

                                                                                           — *✲ﾟ*｡✧ —

Isak steps onto the bus, feeling all of the stress and tension at the thought of exams practically leave his body as he sees Even. They haven't seen each other in a few days because of Isak's exams, but, God, has he missed him.

"Hi," Isak greets shyly, still the same nervous boy that Even had fallen for so many months ago. Even's smile in response is practically blinding, and he does his best to fight the urge of reaching forward and embracing Isak, knows that the younger boy is still uncomfortable with public displays of affection.

"Hi there. Would you like to come back home with me or are you studying tonight?" Even questioned softly, smiling down at Isak in the same way that he smiled at him on the very first day that they spoke to each other.

A lot had happened since that first meeting. A lot had happened since Even confessed his feelings for Isak as well. It was Isak's first real relationship with anyone, and he had grown to learn what it was like to have his heart belong to someone else. He learnt that Even was one of the most spontaneous people he had ever met on their first date, where they ditched a movie to go make out in someone's private pool instead. He learnt that Even wore his heart on his sleeve and was extremely loyal, no matter the circumstances. He learnt that Even was bipolar, finding this out when Even stopped talking to him for a few days after he had made an ableist remark about his mother. He learnt that Even was knowledgeable about so many things, helping Isak overcome his internalized homophobia and prejudices about mental illnesses in ways that he would never have imagined. Most importantly, Even taught him how to love himself before learning to love someone else.

"I'm a little sick of studying so I think I'd rather come over. If that's okay," He said softly, returning the taller boy's smile and feeling a bloom of warmth in his chest. Not allowing himself to think about it too much, he leans up and presses his lips against Even's in a chaste kiss. He tries not to think about the people that may be watching, the ones that could be wrinkling their noses in disgust or cursing them for their love. Instead, he focuses on the soft feeling of Even's lips against his own, the way that their noses brush, and the surprised intake of breath that Even takes. And when he pulls away and sees nothing but adoration in the older's eyes, he's infinitely glad that fate decided to bring them together.


End file.
